Homework Advice for
In 2007, I wrote an e-book with (I thought) the fabulous title:
10 Ways to Make Certain That Your Kids Hate School, Become Lazy & Dependent Learners, Drive the Teachers Crazy, & End Up Living in Your Basement Until They Are 40
Quite a title, isn’t it?
Thankfully, I have met very few parents that I believe did not care at all about their children’s education. The vast majority of parents love their children and are willing to do any- and everything they can to help their children succeed in school and in life.
I am assuming that you actually want your children to:
♥ love school and learning
♥ grow into independent, self-motivated and confident learners
♥ make their teachers happy and proud
♥ attend the colleges of their choice (how ‘bout a scholarship?)
♥ become self-sufficient adults
I have decided to share the information from the e book on this site- free of charge.
Here are some things you may be wondering:
Question #1: Why did I choose such a provocative title for this e-book?First of all, I wanted to get your attention. Mission accomplished.
Secondly, I wanted to use humor to stress the unfunny idea that as parents our actions may be motivated by good intentions, but we end up creating the exact opposite of what we want for our children.
Think about the parent that gives his child the definition of a vocabulary word instead of making the child look it up in the dictionary. The parent believes that his child will remember what ‘flabbergasted’ means, but more than likely, the child will forget the definition as soon as he writes it down. What he will remember is to ask someone else for answers rather than figuring them out for himself.
As a teacher and tutor, I have watched oh so many parents making their children’s lives, the children’s teacher's life, their children’s classmates' lives, and their own lives way too difficult. What’s worse, these parents are taking all the fun and self-discovery out of learning for their children.
Question #2: Why should you listen to me?My kids aren't perfect, and I am far from a perfect parent (believe me!). My warnings and words of advice aren’t those of a self-proclaimed perfect parent; they are from an Experienced and Frustrated Teacher. I have spent years watching the same scenarios play themselves over and over again. I have listened to the excuses, seen the tears, witnessed the tantrums- and I’m talking about the parents! Seriously, I have been in the classroom with your kids, the staff meetings with their teachers, and the district trainings with our bureaucrats. I know what goes on behind the scenes and in the trenches of public education.
There are no perfect parents, and ALL of us- including yours truly- have inadvertently sabotaged our children’s academic success. I may be a know-it-all teacher, but as a parent, I struggle to take my own advice.
It’s hard being a parent!
Question #3: Why aren’t other teachers sharing the cold, hard truth?It’s simple, really.
Teachers want to stay out of hot water and keep their jobs.
Most parents are as cordial, respectful and reasonable as you have always been when it comes to your child’s education. Unfortunately, it only takes a few noisy parents to wreak havoc and create a climate of fear. For the slightest offense (real or imagined), these parents are off to the principal, the district office, their attorney! Who can blame teachers for being afraid to speak up or take a stand?
I don’t like hot water any more than the next person, so why am I willing to open my big mouth?
I don’t want teachers holding anything back from me about my own children, so I won’t do it to other parents.I have found that most parents appreciate my candor and honesty.
Sugarcoating the facts today only hurts children later.
So, don’t be surprised if something I say makes you angry!
Ok, Parents, Here Are Our Rules...
Rule #1: Make Certain That Your Kids Stay Up Too Late
Rule #2: Make Certain That Your Children Skip Breakfast
Rule #3: Make Certain That Your Kids Are Late to School
Rule #4: Make Certain That You Bring Your Child's Lunches & Projects to School
Rule #5: Make Certain That You Do Your Child's Homework & Projects
Rule #6: Make Certain That You Take Your Kids Out of School
Rule #7: Make Certain That You Are Not Friends with the Teacher
Rule #8: Make Certain That You Accept Less Than Your Child's Best Effort
Rule #9: Make Certain That Your Child Is Not Reading At Grade Level
Rule #10: Make Certain That Your Child Has No Exercise, Fun or Kid Time